Although my links work, for some reason, they don’t show up unless you hover your mouse over them. Until I figure out the issue, I’m just moving to all CAPITALS so you’ll know it’s a link.
I’ve been on a non-fiction reading kick this past year and my latest book is no exception. GRIT, by Angela Duckworth, is one of those rare books that straddles the line between business and parenting. It’s a great concept and one I think we could all do well to master in ourselves, as well as foster in those little (and not so little) people we are raising. Want to know how gritty you are? There’s a link for the Grit Scale quiz at the end of this post. If you take it, share your number in the comments too! I’ll share mine and, I promise, there is no wrong answer.
First, of all, what is grit?
The dictionary offers this: firmness of character; indomitable spirit; pluck. Okay, that makes sense. Someone who is tough, who gets back up after falling down, who follows through.
The author uses this concept of grit to explain why some people eventually succeed and others fail (noting that there will always be failures along the way to final success). She defines it as the combination of passion and perseverance. The best scientists, doctors, athletes, and writers are not necessarily the smartest people. What they do have in common is a passion for their vocation and an indomitable perseverance to succeed at it. And lots of practice. But what if you aren’t naturally gritty? Are you doomed? Nope, it turns out science shows that, with effort, you can grow in your grittiness.
The translation to parenting is interesting because this concept can inform both how we view our child and how we encourage them. Duckworth divides parenting into 4 categories: Authoritarian, Neglectful, Permissive, and Wise. It’s not too hard to see which camp we should all be aiming for, but I’m sure we all have days where we end up on the authoritarian, neglectful, or permissive side. The idea behind Wise Parenting is that you’re both Demanding and Supportive. Kind of sounds like an Elephant Mama to me!
An excerpt from the book:
If you want to bring forth grit in your child, first ask how much passion and perseverance you have for your own life goals. Then ask yourself how likely it is that your approach to parenting encourages your child to emulate you. If the answer to the first question is “a great deal,” and your answer to the second is “very likely” you’re already parenting for grit.
One of her concrete pieces of advice is the One Hard Thing rule that her family has adopted. Everyone in her family, child and adult alike, has to choose one hard thing and stick with it, despite obstacles, at least until its natural conclusion. She’s an advocate for extra-curricular activities here because they meet the criteria of being both challenging and interesting.
Do your kids have One Hard Thing? Do you? I’ll tell you about mine in my next post.
Want your own Grit Score? Take the QUIZ! And then, post your score in the comments. I’ll put mine in there too. If you’re interested in learning more, but not finding the time to digest the whole book right now, you can cruise through the 6 minute TED talk.
